If gender is important to the discussion, or the people involved, then misgendering becomes more important, and if you're regularly getting into those kinds of discussions, then you're probably going to learn more/care more. So to a degree it's self-correcting. OTOH Radchaai in general are enormously culturally obliterative. If you've gotten a Radchaai to speak anything other than Radchaai, then they've come an immense distance. But the overwhelming majority will only speak Radchaai, and Radchaai only does 'she'.

And thinking about this makes me wonder if the Radchaai actually use the AIs as translators and in most situations don't bother learning languages themselves, even where the circumstances would normally require it. In which case Breq paying more attention is only logical, they're the Radchaai version of a linguist.